“Cousin”

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She emailed and said this was the kind of conversation that required a quiet corner in Java at 11 AM. Apparently, there are not many people there at such a time. She can speak without straining to not whisper, and I can tell you she whispers like a cat that saw a dog.

You don’t want to be hiding with this one in any situation. She can’t whisper to save her life.

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How to survive the baby witching hour

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When my baby was younger, I experienced something ‘strange’. Every day, at around 6 pm, she would start fussing. She’d just get restless and cry herself hoarse.

Unknown to me, what we were experiencing is called the witching hour.

The witching hour was like a hangnail. It drained all life and joy out of my first days of motherhood. I often was on the brink of tears. Exhausted like a donkey in Mwea.

At those time I felt like auctioning her off to the highest bidder. But I was sure none of you wanted a screaming beauty.

So we braved on. Everyday. It was like waiting to visit the dentist. You know what’s coming and you can’t prevent it.  I got so used to it that I didn’t even notice when it stopped. But I dreaded it!

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Holes

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I’m a good girl by the basic standards. No, allow me to just say it this one time. I’m a good girl. I’ve never been drunk (does wine count?),  never smoked (not even weed) and never did the walk of shame.  I was proud of it all. Until I was not so proud of it.

Josh Harris is no longer a Christian. And he’s getting a divorce. I don’t know if you understand the weight of those two statements, but I can make it simpler. It’s like saying the pope is no longer catholic and he’s getting married. Although that wouldn’t be so bad.

It feels like my whole youth life was a lie. If you’re still using a yahoo email account, Josh Harris is (was) a pastor and an author. He wrote I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl.  For a Christian girl who believed Sidney Sheldon was evil and never read Mills and Boons, Josh Harris was my dating and sexuality compass.

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Stupidity and virginity

stock-photo-yolo-road-sign-you-only-live-once-concept-556147753.jpgYesterday, someone called me ‘old’.

I know him from my University days. There we were talking about children and spouses and the forgetfulness that comes with being a parent. And then it just hit us like bird poop on the head — we’re old!

Afterwards, I tried remembering the girl I was when we met. I was young, naïve, a little stupid and oh-so-thin. I was a third-year university student with a heart that was still healing and a promise not to love again for 3 years. I don’t know how I got off imagining that it takes hearts 3 years to mend. I said I was a little stupid, didn’t I?

If I met this girl today, I’d give her a long, long hug. I’d tell her to be her own best friend because people come and go. More often than not, they go rather than come. The person who’s the best friend could become a stranger who blue-ticks her on WhatsApp.

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Parenting with a microphone – why I need to stop shouting at my kids.

If you hope to get children one day, you should rehearse your conversations with them often. You can practice with a stone, they produce the same response.

Before I had kids, I swore to never shout at my kids. I visualized myself sitting them down for some little ‘adult’ talk about their undesirable behaviour. My speech would be smooth and chocolaty even. I was to be the calm and composed mother: the one who doesn’t lose her cool in the supermarket when they are screaming for candy and chocolate; then one who bends down to their kid’s eye level to avoid looking like an intimidating mammoth.

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Does how you react to rejection reveal your mental health?

“It’s over, I can’t be with you anymore.”

How do these words make you feel? Desperate, infuriated, depressed, suicidal ..?

While it’s normal to feel all or some of the above at some point, how you choose to deal with the feelings says a lot about your mental state.

In life, disappointments are inevitable and more so in matters of the heart. If you find it hard to accept rejection and even toy with ideas of violence or even murder, you may be standing on emotional quicksand

Worrisome trend

Murder and suicide cases have been on the rise in the last couple of months. The Global Study of Homicide by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (2018) lists mental illness as a key motive for murder, among other factors.

In the cases where the murder was a crime of passion, many claimed that if one spends money and time seeking your affection, then you are obligated to reciprocate. But, are you?

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A mother’s Phone Call

It’s 9:02 AM. Miss. T and I have just dropped Miss. Z to school and we’re now back in the house. The heat here feels like the sun came to whisper something in our ears and then forgot what it was. So it’s hovering around scratching it’s head. And did I mention it’s 9:02 in the morning?

Miss. T is generating some other heat of her own with a tantrum the size of a mini tornado. I can’t believe such a tiny being has lungs this powerful! If the Malaysian plane hasn’t been found yet, I can bet you my yesterday’s Chapati that it’s in her lungs!

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Navigating Nairobi Town for Dummies

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I’ve always been fascinated by the books that purport to have guidelines for dummies. Or idiots. It makes you want to pick it up because, I mean, here is someone who will dumb it down for you enough to gain entry into Punjab University.

Making fun of the people who come to Nairobi from shags has made people famous. It’s not funny anymore though, someone needs to tell the now (not-so) funny man from Ukambani to take a break on his show. This is no laughing matter anymore. Still, comedy has not yet seen what Nairobi can do to an ex-Nairobian who comes visiting after many moons.

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My Coffee Needs a Coffee

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There are days, then there are DAYS. Those days when even your coffee needs a coffee, and your masseuse needs a massage. This week was one of those.

I’m nursing a terrible hot-tea burn on my thigh. It’s hard to sleep, and even harder to wear clothes! The things we take for granted! Venezuela is struggling with having two presidents; Maraga is struggling with his sloth of a judiciary and I’m struggling with wearing clothes! But I’m definitely doing better than Venezuela.

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